Clown love
by drclowndaddy
Summary: You move to Derry and meet Pennywise, but can you trust him? More importantly, can you be more than friends? Praised by critics as "tastefully bad," and "fucking weird."
1. A unexpected journey

"Take your headphones out, it's family time."

I sighed at my mother from the backseat and took out one headphone, evanescence blasting from the speakers. My name is (your name) and I'm with my family moving to Derry. I had heard about the killer clown there, but I figured it was all made up. I secretly hoped there would be a killer clown though, I make a lot of balloon animals in my free time and truthfully I think clowns are kind of cute.

My family makes fun of me for liking clowns and for wearing a red nose and painting on clown make up when I'm in my room, but I know that someday I'll find someone who understands.

"I don't want to go to Derry!" Exclaimed my annoying older sister, (your sisters name). "My boyfriend told me there's a killer clown there that eats people!"

"I bet he's nice." I said and started drawing clowns in my sketchbook.

"Clowns are freaks!" (Your sisters name) yelled again and I rolled my eyes at her.

My sister grinned and pulled my clown nose out of my backpack and I immediately tried to snatch it back.

"That's mine!" I cried and my sister laughed.

"You're such a freak!" She laughed and I grabbed it back from her.

"You're the freak! You judge clowns without even knowing them!" I yelled and I threw open the car door and jumped out.

"(Your name)! Get back here!" My mom yelled after me but I kept running. I was so angry. My family would never truly accept clowns and they wouldn't accept me. I felt so alone as I ran down the hill and down in to a tunnel.

It was quiet and dark in the tunnel as I sat down and began to cry. What if I didn't make any friends in this new town?

Suddenly I saw a pair of eyes looking at me!

"Who are you?" I yelled and I jumped up and pushed my (your hair color) hair out of my eyes.

The stranger stepped in to the light and I saw that it was a clown! He had beautiful face paint, a clown outfit, and a big clownish smile that made me blush.

"I'm Pennywise the clown!" He giggled and he took another step toward me. "What's your name?" He asked.

"I'm (your name.)" I answered.

Pennywise grinned an evil grin. "That's a beautiful name."

I wiped at my eyes and he frowned, "Why are you crying?" Pennywise asked.

Another tear fell down my face, "My family thinks I'm weird just because I like clowns."

Pennywise's eyes got sad and he frowned, "People think I'm weird too. Maybe we could be weird together."

I grinned, "Don't you eat people?"

Pennywise grinned bashfully, his big grin was so sexy, when he grinned wider more teeth appeared and I grinned back. The bright red face paint on his nose and mouth was such a good contrast against the white paint of his face and I shivered.

"I would never eat you." He answered and laughed a big loud clown laugh. He began doing a clownish dance around me and I felt so happy.

"We could be a team." I offered and Pennywise nodded eagerly.

"Come on!" He exclaimed with a loud giggle and he shook with excitement. "Let's go to Derry."

I took his strong arm and we walked toward Derry together. I couldn't wait to explore the town with my new handsome clown friend.

But could we be more than friends?!


	2. teaching Pennywise to love

Me and Pennywise we're walking to town hand in hand. His hand was so big strong and warm, and I felt so safe. We entered the Arcade, and I could tell the other girls were jealous of the big strong clown friend I had.

When we entered the arcade we saw a game called "clown blasters" and I pointed to it with a smile, "Look Pennywise it's us!"

Pennywise looked sad all of a sudden, his beautiful clownish face fell into a frown. "You would hurt clowns?" he asked sadly.

"No that's not what I meant! I'm sorry! I would never hurt clowns!"

"Really?" Pennywise asked in a sensitive way.

"Of course!" I answered and Pennywise kissed my check.

"Hey handsome." Said old Mrs Myrtle from down the street. "Why don't you come sit on my lap?"

Pennywise scoffed in disgust and put his strong clown arm tighter my waist, "Sorry," he giggled. "But I already a date with (your name.)

I was so glad that Pennywise chose me. I'm sure it's because it's because he can tell I'm a clown ally.

Suddenly! Pennywise saw a child that looked tasty from across the street, and his big shape clownish teeth unsheathed and he giggled manically. Then he ran out of the arcade, abandoning me!

"Pennywise! You can't just leave me here!" I yelled, offended that he would just abandon me!

Mrs Myrtle chuckled, happy to see that I wouldn't be getting clown love either.

I abandoned my game and ran out after him, "Pennywise where are you going?"

Pennywise didn't answer, his eyes dark with evilness and his grin big and evil.

"Come here kid!" Pennywise yelled and the kid looked up in horror.

"Pennywise don't!" I cried in fear.

Pennywise ran up to the kid but then realized that the kid was holding another boys hand in his own.

Pennywise slowed to a halt and stared. "Who's that?" He asked, looking ashamed of himself.

"M-My boyfriend?" He stuttered nervously, "Please don't kill me!" He held the hand of his boyfriend tightly.

A single tear fell down Pennywise's face. "I-I'm sorry." He stammered and walked away all ashamed.

I was so angry at Pennywsie for trying to kill a boy, but then U felt pity when he walked away alone and sad.

"Pennywise!" I called after him, "Wait!"

Pennywise ran into the forest, and it started raining. Rain poured down his sad white face and he crawled into a storm drain. I could barely make out his glowing eyes. I wanted to kiss his sadness away.

I crawled over to the storm drain and looked down, pushing my (your hair color) hair out of my eyes.

"Pennywise are you okay?" I asked, and I heard sobbing echo off the cold tile.

Pennywise giggled sadly and wiped a sad gloomy tear from his face. "How could you ever love a monster like me?" He exclaimed.

"What do you mean? I asked sadly.

Pennywise giggles and angry clown giggle. "I almost murdered a person who just wants to love. I would never do that on purpose, but my clown instincts overtook me."

I suddenly wanted his clown instincts to overtake me.

"I know you would never do that on purpose Pennywise. Just try to contain your animalistic tendencies. I would never want you to get in trouble. Someone could call the cops!"

Pennywise stopped crying, sniffles, and gave me a big grin through the darkness. "You really care about me don't you, (your name)?"

"Of course I do Pennywise! I wanna live like a clown with you forever!"

"Forever is a long time!" Pennywise smirked, but I wasn't deterred.

"I mean it, I want to be with you forever." Then I crawled down into the sewer with him.

He put his arm around my (your BMI) waist, and I felt so safe all over again.

"Let's stay down here together forever." I offered, and Pennywise smirked a sexy smirk.

He did a happy little jig around the sewer, and his beautiful clown bells jingled sensually.

"Until I need to eat again." He said with an evil smirk and a look of dark hunger beneath his cheerful clown face.

I gulped, could Pennywise be trusted?


	3. chapter 2

Pennywise and me were holding hands and cuddling. He was so warm against my cheek, and when he giggled I could feel his chest vibrating and it made me giggle too.

"You're mine, (your name)." He chuckled and held me tighter and I nodded.

Suddenly Pennywise sat up and I rolled on my side. "What?" I asked and he looked around nervously.

"I need to go do something." He said suspiciously and I frowned at him.

"Do what?" I asked but Pennywise was already leaving, an evil grin on his clownish face. He giggled an evil giggle and my heart thundered nervously.

What was Pennywise doing?

I followed him out of the sewer where he couldn't see me, and I saw him watching some kids with a grin. They were young and they were mostly boys expect for one girl with red hair who they called Beverly.

Pennywise grinned and his sharp monster teeth came out. I trembled, he wasn't going to eat them, was he?

Just then Pennywise ran towards them, ready to attack!

"Pennywise don't!" I yelled and began running after him. "Don't hurt them!" I was so upset, I really thought Pennywise could change.

As I was running old Mrs. Myrtle walked up to me from behind a tree!

"He doesn't really love you!" She shrieked with jealousy and I rolled my (your eye color) eyes.

"You don't know anything old Mrs. Myrtle!" I yelled.

Mrs. Myrtle stormed away angrily, dropping a folder behind her by accident.

I reached down and picked up the folder, inside it was pictures of Mrs. Mrytle and a clown that looked like Pennywise! Was Pennywise cheating on me?!

But the clown looked different then Pennywise, not nearly as handsome. When I read the files I realized that old Mrs. Myrtle wasn't old Mrs. Myrtle at all, she had stolen someone's identity. And she used to be an outlaw who was in love with another clown before they both died in a shootout!

I started running after Pennywise again, who was grabbing at the kids in the forest.

The kids looked up in terror and started screaming. I knew if they knew Pennywise for who he really was they wouldn't be afraid, but they only knew bad Pennywise.

Pennywise's bells jingled evily as he tried to grab them. I ran faster, I realized that I had dropped my clown nose but I didn't care, Pennywise was more important.

Just before Pennywise grabbed a boy who had fallen over I grabbed his arm. "Pennywise no! This isn't who you are!" I yelled and Pennywise looked at me, his evil clown black eyes turning back to their beautiful sky blue.

Pennywise threw me off him and stormed away angrily, leaving the kids shaking in fear. I knew Pennywise was mad at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked the boy and he nodded.

"Wow thanks for the help." He exclaimed. "I'm Bill."

"Hi Bill. I'm (your name)." I said and he smiled.

"That's a great name." He complimented.

Then he turned to the other kids. "This is Beverly, Richie, Eddie, and Mike."

They all waved to me and I waved back.

"I've never seen someone get through to him like that," Said Beverly and she looked at me, impressed. "He must really care about you."

We all talked for a bit and then they went home, and I went to the sewers to find Pennywise.

I was so angry at him. He had told me he would be better about attacking kids, but now I wasn't sure if he ever even stopped.

I walked up to Pennywise and crossed my arms. "How could you do that!" I yelled and Pennywise glared at me.

"I am who I am! You can't tell me what to do!" He yelled and for a moment I was so afraid. He evil clown face was so dark and mysterious, and his red lips were barred angrily.

I was still so mad but then I looked into his eyes and I saw how much pain was there. I could tell it wasn't really his fault.

Pennywise took a deep breath and fiddled with his clown shirt. I sighed.

"Let's dance." I said and he grinned.

We did a happy clown dance around the sewer, and I was so happy we were together again. I realized that maybe I kind of liked being evil too.

He was quickly becoming more than my friend…


	4. downtown to tiny clown town

Pennywise was driving me to meet his parents. I smiled at him from the passenger seat as he slammed on the gas, giggling clownly as the car sped forward.

"I can't wait to meet your parents Pennywise." I said and he laughed evily.

"Once you meet them you'll change your mind." He said angrily and I frowned, flipping my (your hair color) hair over my shoulder.

"What do you mean by that?"

"They always pressured me when I lived with them in the circus. They always pushed me to be as funny as I could be, the pressure was so hard for me." Pennywise said sadly. His beautiful clown makeup smeared a bit as he shed a tear.

I felt so sorry for him, now I knew why he had turned evil.

Pennywise shook himself as his sexy clown outfit jingled sensually. "They wanted me to take over the family circus. But I wanted to be a musician, and they kicked me out of the circus. I had to hide in the sewers." Pennywise shed another tear and grit his sharp teeth evily.

"But I'll show them!" He laughed and I laughed too. He turned at a sign that said "tiny clown town" and I frowned.

"Is this where you grew up?" I asked and Pennywise nodded, his beautiful red hair bobbing up and down.

We got out of the car and walked up to two clowns that looked like Pennywise but older. One was Tim Curry as the old Pennywise and the other was a clown.

"Mother. Father." Pennywise spat angrily, his eyes were so evil and full of hatred. His parents must have done terrible things to him.

"Please, call me Papawise." The Tim Curry Pennywise grinned and he looked at me, his eyes darkening sexily.

"Pennywise was never as good of a clown as me." Papawise remarked and Pennywise clenched his fists.

"You don't know anything Papawise! You never believed in my music career!" Pennywise looked so angry I was afraid he would kill everyone.

Papawise ignored him. "Who's this delicious looking lady?" He asked, his large clown teeth became pointy and Pennywise put a protective arm around my waist.

"This is (your name)." He said and I smiled.  
"What was Pennywise like back then?" I asked with a mischievous grin and Pennywise rolled his eyes.

"He was always trying to be a better clown, but he just didn't have the skill." His mother clown said and she glared at him with evil eyes.

Pennywise looked sad and I pulled out my favorite red clown nose. "Pennywise is a great clown!" I yelled and put on my clown nose proudly.

There was a big circus tent around us and we were at the circus where Pennywise had grown up. Pennywise looked excited to be around the circus again and the glee in his eyes was so sexy and cute.

Just then the Joker came up to me with a grin. "Want to have your fortune read?" He asked with a chilling laugh. It was a lot like Pennywise's laugh but not nearly as beautiful.

"Sure." I said and I followed the Joker to the tent where he read fortunes.

I had always found Joker to be really sexy, but he was nothing compared to Pennywise and when Joker winked at me I rolled my (your eye color) eyes.

Just as Joker began to look in to the crystal ball, Jared Leto as Joker ran in! I found him really sexy too but my mind stayed on Pennywise.

He laughed crazily and both Jokers began to read my fortune.

In the crystal ball I could see the image of Pennywise and me holding hands and cuddling down in the sewers. I was so happy and when I looked at Pennywise he was smiling too.

"I can see it, you are very good for him." Joker grinned, and his big red smile glinted in the moonlight.

"Does he love me?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.

I thought about Pennywise. I thought about the beautiful clown grin he had as he made me balloon animals and showed me his sharp evil teeth. I thought about his beautiful red clown nose and those big sexy clown shoes that made me shiver.

Just before Joker could answer Jared Leto threw the ball to the ground!

He laughed crazily, his dumb face tattoos glinting in the moonlight and Pennywise jumped up angrily!

Pennywise grabbed Jared Joker by the throat, his eyes turning evil and a big grin spreading across his face.

"Time to die!" He giggled and I grabbed his hand. This time he didn't throw me away but looked at me with so much depressing sorrow.

"Let's go babe." I said with a beautiful grin and Pennywise dropped Joker.

"You two are meant for each other." Joker said happily and we exited the circus hand in hand.

Did Pennywise love me?


	5. At a crossroads

Pennywise and me were riding our bikes to the local Derry movie theatre. His big sexy clownish shoes dragged on the ground behind him as he pedaled his sleek red bike. He honked his clown horn on his bike and I grinned sexily. My big red clown nose. Wind resistance.

Then we were in the movies watching IT. It was my favorite movie, and Pennywise liked it too. It was a really good movie about a clown and it featured a clown who I honestly felt just needed love.

Suddenly! Mrs. Myrtle's ugly voice called out from the front row. I could hear her big wood rocking chair rocking back and forth.

Pennywise was holding a hot dog.

"I could do a better job at satisfying that clown!" Her big rickety rocking chair squeaked obnoxiously throughout the theatre.

Everyone was too cowardly to complain, but Pennywise jumped up angrily. I was so impressed that he was finally being assertive and standing up for himself.

"Bitch! We should euthanize the old!" Pennywise growled evily with a big sexy red lipped smirk. He smacked his lips together evily. I really really wanted his clown instincts to overtake me. It took every ounce of my being not to jump his clown bones then and there in that theatre.

Mrs. Myrtle stared in horror before her mouth melted into a clownly grin. "You don't know how who I really am Sunny."

"Then educate me, you old hag!"

I smirked, Pennywise really knew how to be a bad clown.

Suddenly! Old Mrs. Myrtle turned into a clown! Not unlike Pennywise himself, but he was a little bit fatter and was balding unlike my handsome companion beside me.

He held up his big gulp and threw it at Old worthless Mrs. Myrtle. I thought her clown makeup would begin to run but it didn't, it must have been genuine. She reeked of Hawaiian punch now.

The clown rocked out of her rocking chair, "You'll regret that! BOB GRAY!" She rocked out of the room in her rocking chair, squeaking as she went.

"Who's Bob Gray?" I asked angrily. Was Pennywise not telling me something!

Pennywise looked down bashfully and grinned evily. "I had a life before you. A second family." He said cryptically and I shivered.

"Was that your name from before?"

"That's none of your business! She's senile." Pennywise grinned with evilness.

Then we were walking outside and I heard a dumb gurgle from the trashcan.

When I opened the trashcan there was a baby inside. It had turtle pajamas on. (wink to true fans lol)

"We should keep it!" I said, picking up the baby and carrying it to the run down house where Pennywise lived.

"I'm not good with children." Pennywise said evily and I rolled my (your eye color) eyes.

Arriving home, I grabbed Pennywises' mail at the edge of the street and entered the abandoned house with my clown man and our new child. I looked down at what had arrived. The daily clown magazine, honks daily, greeted me with its bright alluring colors. However the happy warm feeling it usually gave me didn't reach my clown-loving heart. My cb (clown boyfriend) had led a double life and he never confided in me about it! Weren't we close enough to share our feelings with each other?

The sound of babbling broke me from my thoughts and I suddenly remembered I was holding a baby. I'll deal with this later, I thought. Placing the baby on the seat of a broken toilet In the middle of the room, I searched for my lover.

I jumped down the well. I couldn't go another moment without seeing my clown. Down in the sewers I heard rustling of papers and the rustle of burning flames. Pennywise was throwing papers in to the fire! I stepped forward and noticed a photograph under my shoe. It was a picture of Pennywise but it wasn't quite Pennywise. Underneath the photo was the words "Bob Gray."

"No (your name)! Don't look!" Pennywise yelled, fear filling his sexy dark clown eyes.

"Tell me who Bob Gray is!" I yelled, anger filling me head to toe. If he truly loved me he would tell me the truth!

Pennywise continued throwing files into the fire.

I grabbed his clown tie and made him kneel before me, his clown shoes squeaking sharply. "I'm going to count to three and if you don't tell me by then you're going to be in big trouble mister!"

Pennywise uttered a guttural growl not unlike the ones I hear in my dreams. Suddenly I noticed he had an extra arm. Then two, then 10! Pennywise changed forms before me and turned into a giant spider, but he still had his handsome clownish face and arms, like a spider centaur.

"What are you doing!" I yelled. "More to burn papers with my dear!" He chuckled a clownish chuckle.

The firepit in the middle of the sewer was growing larger thanks to the help of spider pennywise's extra hands. He reached back and grabbed the final filing cabinet from his trailer. In a fit of rage I launched myself onto the cabinet and held on, pennywise unaware he was lifting me into the air.

"No, wait! I'm sorry, I'll never get mad again!" I begged. Pennywise looked for the sound of my voice on the ground, searching for me, but to no avail.

I suddenly realized I was being held dangerously too close to the flames and could start to feel the metal of the filing cabinet feel like hot metal.

Hot white pain crawled up my arms and legs. "Please!" I begged, trying to get his attention. I started to lose consciousness.

"Y/N!" Pennywise said breathlessly. To cool me down he launched me across the room away from the fire, accidentally a bit too hard from his extra spider strength.

My body bounced off the concrete and lay there for a while. Half conscious I looked up at the figure of a clown: A very tall, handsome clown. It was my clown!

He bent down with a look of tenderness I'd never seen before on his clownish face, it looked like he wasn't meant to possess it. "I almost killed you Y/N…" He whispered.

"You didn't mean to, I'm ok! Just tell me about what happened in the 1600s when you roamed the world as bob gray. I want there to be no secrets between us, no barriers." You said wistfully.

A range of clown emotions went over pennywise's face, but ended in a cold emotionless stare. "No. I will never change what I am."

A single paper fell from the ceiling of the sewer and onto pennywise's big clown shoe. With inhuman quickness he picked it up and crumpled it, looking off into the distance.

"I am who I am." He giggled. "And I'll start with that baby upstairs!" No, I have to stop him!


	6. baby saberz

Panic filled my body as I watched Pennywise scurry up the well with breakneck speed, his bells jingling fervently, giggling, except this time the giggles weren't in response to me telling jokes from Bonzo's Ad-Libs™. Those giggles were for the anticipation of consuming an innocent youth. "Wait!" I yelled up the well, my voice echoing off the cold tile, but unlike our usual meetings, it fell on deaf ears. With strained muscles I forced myself up the well and I reached the top.

Pennywise was nowhere to be found. I looked in the middle of the room, sunbeams spilling from the cracked roofing. The broken down toilet was also empty from its occupant. I started pacing around the home, checking every room to see if the baby somehow escaped its lavatory imprisonment. I jogged to the front yard, about to give up hope.

"Ma'am?" A social worker stepped out from behind a tree. She was wearing a fancy formal looking dress and had a nametag that clearly read "Bowers". She was holding the baby we found from the trash earlier! I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, until I heard a low growl. Stepping from behind the tree and the woman was pennywise, his hair and face in an animalistic craze! The social worker noticed my shocked look and looked behind her, then back at me unfazed. He must be keeping himself hidden from the woman. His eyes were unblinking and had one goal and one goal only: to eat the baby.

I immediately sprung into action and grabbed the woman's arm, dragging her over to her car. "This is highly unusual! Ma'am is this your baby?" She said nasally. I opened her car door and shoved her in. "I've never met that baby in my life! In fact, I've never been to this trash heap of a dump on neibolt street either. Personally I always thought it looked overrated." Pennywise hadn't moved from his spot but I heard him snort angrily. As the woman drove away I heard the sound of a loud marching band approaching on the road. A sea of clowns and colors of all shapes and sizes were dancing crazily and having an all around clownly time. One of the signs they were holding read "Clown Pride Parade". I can't believe I forgot! It was clown pride today at the town square. Forgetting everything that happened before I turned around to let Pennywise know about the festivities but he was gone. I wonder where he could have gone.


	7. bill you or bont you

It started to rain. The clown marching band strode past me, tubas blaring loudly, leading to town square. Raindrops splattered off the brass instruments that the clowns waved around animatedly. I could see my reflection in them, my face distorted, a reflection of my inner self. Tears started streaming down my face, mixing with the raindrops. I threw up my hands to the invisible clown being in the sky, falling to my knees.

"Are you happy now? I've lost him! I've lost the only thing that matters in this world!" A couple clowns peered at me the ground, grinning wildly and passed me by unsympathetically. Some time passed. The sweet clown music grew fainter and fainter in the distance, the sloshing of their footsteps disappearing almost altogether. The crowd started trailing off. Except for one pair of footsteps.

A spry, limber man, with a little button nose and almond-fluid eyes with a sexy smirk that could be a clown smirk if he so desired.

"Are you ok?" He bent down to my level, his comically long legs creaking. "I-I-I-I-I-m Fine!" I stammered. He offered me a hand, it was warm, and lifted me up with ease.

"I'm Bill Skarsgard. What's your name?"

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y/N." I stuttered. Even though it was raining, the man before me was a blinding light. I had to squint.

"Want to have a coffee with me sometime? You look like you could use it. Wink"

We were then at his moms house, where he led me up the rickety stairs to his old bedroom. It was full of beautiful clown memoribila and there was a red clown nose resting upon his bed, which he quickly put away like he was embarrassed.

I sighed sadly, clown thoughts plauging my brain. "I used to love a clown once," I said wistfully. "But I don't plan on doing it again."

"I want to kiss your tears away." Bill said sexily. I grinned hungrily.

Suddenly! Arthur Fleck came in with a sexy confident smirk. "Hello (y/n) I also struggle with depression, delusions, anxiety, and I have many disorders."

I turned away from him and back to Bill. I wondered what Pennywise was up to right now.

"You never pull your weight around here you dumb useless slut!" Bill raged at Arthur. The anger in his eyes looked so familiar but I couldnt quite place it. Was it a lover I used to have, perhaps a clown of sorts?

Arthur grit his teeth and pulled out a glock. "You don't know anything about what its like to be mentally ill in a society! It's like a dog chasing a car, I heard Heath Ledger say it."

Bill put his longer protective arm around me, not his shorter one. His arm was so sexy and strong and it was the longest arm I had ever seen, it reminded me of an orangatan.

"You'll get what you effin deserve!" He screeched and then walked away all anxiety.

Then we went to THE clown parade in town square. I was enjoying all the beautiful clowns until a few caught on fire. It was Jared Leto throwing Molotov cocktails at the clowns, because he jealous that he wasn't invited because no one thought he was a good clown.

Bozo the clown flew past me on a unicycle with a firehose, effectively saving the day.

Suddenly! I suddenly saw pennywise. He locked eyes with me and a hand came out of his mouth, reaching out and pulling me to him.

"What are you doing with Bill, (y/n)?!" Pennywise roared, "Are you cheating on me?!"

I looked back for Bill to defend me but he was gone, perhaps he got lost in the sea of clowns.

"Think twice before you say that again." Pennywise hissed evily.

Suddenly! The Joker from the telltale series showed up with his boyfriend Bruce Wayne, they were hand in hand happily. "Nice outfit." The Joker from the telltale series said to Pennywise and his boyfriend Bruce laughed.

Pennywise jingled his sexy clown bells evily.

The lights of the carnival in town square became brighter as the sun set. I looked at pennywise, full of rage and lust.

"I'm going to find Bill. Go rave with your other clown friends since this is where you want to be instead of with me."

Pennywise's lower lip trembled. I started pacing from tent to tent, trying to find my orangatang-limbed friend. He couldn't of gotten far, could he?

A giant unused tent at the far-end of the carnival caught my eye. I guess it wouldn't hurt to check here, I thought. It looked run-down and had holes in it.

Entering, it was pitch black and I could barely make out the interior before me. I felt the air blindly in front of me, trying to find some sort of light source.

Suddenly all at once the lights inside turned on, momentarily blinding me. Some old-timey circus music turned on full-blast. At the far end of the tent on the stage was a figure, their back was facing me.

As I approached I realized it was Bill Skarsgard.

"I finally found you!"

At the sound of my voice he slowly turned around to face me with a strange expression.

I couldn't believe my eyes as his face morphed into the image on the flyers pennywise was trying to burn. Bob Gray!

Finally able to see the interior I realized that the decor all around the tent also had bob gray's face on it, along with gift-shop merchandise you could get. Mugs, bags, t-shirts, and underwear with his face on it.

I could feel my body start to shake ferally. "I don't understand."

Pennywise's familiar sexy high pitched voice emanated from the shitty old man before me. It was the truth.

"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

I shook my head violently.

Did pennywise love me?


	8. the maze of discovery

I ran into a maze like in The Shining that was next to the circus. I could hear Pennywise clomp fast as a racehorse out of sight in the maze, but he was catching up to me.

"Screw you old man!" I yelled fiercely.

"Your heart is winter fire, my heart burns there too." Came a sexy sultry clown voice, but I was so afraid.

I looked back and saw him jogging briskly after me.

What if I couldn't trust him?

I looked forward and back again to see if he was catching up. But he wasn't running anymore!

I could hear his engine revving, and when I turned I saw the headlights that blinded me like his love had.

It was Pennywise in his black 2019 jaguar! He slammed his big sexy clown foot down on the gas. I could see hedges being mowed down like the tears down my face.

I bounced off the windshield, I was running out of energy, I bounced off his windshield and heard him do the brake.

I heard the squeal of the brake.

"Right on target!" He cried clownishly. "Scoped and dropped." He said with a grin and got out of his car clandly clad in a leather jacket.

He threw me in the trunk, and later I woke up on a spinning wheel, my arms and legs strapped to it. The wheel spin round and round with me strapped to it, and it was one of those wheels that people threw knives at while someone was attached to it.

I heard a cackling from above me, below me, and at all directions, then I heard the cheer of a crowd.

I saw a sticker on the wheel, it said "tinyclowntown," the wheel was patented by tinyclowntown!

I heard someone over an intercom; it was a shrill clown voice,

"Come one, come all, to Pennywise's house of secrets! You will find things that will astound you, titillate you, and thrill you!"

The crowd cheered and I heard an array of honks. Before me I could see foam fingers and popcorn, and the crowd was filled with only clowns that some I recognized, It was Papawise who was holding a "that's my son" sign and I saw a tear fall from Pennywise's eye as I was spinning from the wheel.

Even from my spinning state, all the clowns were incredibly sexy to me and I couldn't help but stare.

Then it was time for Pennywise's act! He came out in a clown suit, all clown and sexy. Loud clown music started playing over the speakers.

"(y/n)'s life is at chance! Will she live to see another day, or will she succumb! This is what happens when you double cross me, and cheat on me with one of my personas."

I gasped, "Pennywise, it's me! Don't you love me?" I couldn't believe he would ever hurt me.

"Like you loved Bill Skarsgard?" Pennywise accused with an angry glare. He clearly felt very betrayed by my tryst with that old man.

Then he threw a knife, and it narrowly missed my side! The clown crowd gasped and then cheered, their big red noses shone in the light. Many of them wore fake flowers that burst forth water clownishly!

He threw another that also almost hit me! But I was okay.

Pennywise threw another and I heard a laugh from the crowd, a sad and nervous laugh like he couldn't control it.

Suddenly Joaquin Phoenix as Joker sprung from his chair and flew down the rafters toward me by the harness he was attached to.

He leapt onto the stage and kicked Pennywise hard.

Joaquin Joker grabbed me and we ran off the stage, parting the red sea of clowns. The excitement died down as we left the tent, the strange man next to me staring at me blankly. I waved a hand in front of his face. "You all there buddy?"

He barked a sharp laugh and it echoed throughout the circus. "Not really!" He chuckled, fumbling with his pill bottles.

"I struggle with mental illness." He said with an awkward shy laugh, his clown laugh reminded me of Pennywise. But I hated Pennywise, because I still had tire tracks all over my face and arms from my latest encounter with him.

I hated him so much but I also wanted to get back together.

"Tell me about yourself." I said to Joaquin Joker.

"I-I-I…" He laughed awkwardly, he was so nervous. "I killed my mom, and no one cares about me."

Then I saw Bob Gray watching me, his stare was so intense and sexy and so I left Joaquin joker.

I joined Bob Gray behind an alley and he beckoned me forward with a long finger.

"You know what they say about old men who have lost their power, their vigor has to go somewhere else." He smirked and pulled me close and purred.

His weathered leathery lips enveloped yours. His hands were so rough and leathery that I looked down to see if he was wearing gloves, but he wasn't.

We made out for a while and then did _**IT**_.

Suddenly Pennywise appeared!

"You're cheating on me with Bob Gray?" He roared as he clown face split and big sharp clown teeth appeared.

I looked around to Bob but there was nothing but air.


	9. whos ur daddy

Y/N's hands shook as you sat cross legged on the cold tile of your bathroom. The pregnancy test in your hand shook.

"Yes!" came a shrill voice from the living room. You peered in through the doorway and saw Pennywise lounging on the couch watching his favorite football game, his long clown legs propped up on the coffee table. His beer wasn't on a coaster and was leaving a ring.

You sat back against the toilet and squeezed your eyes closed. "Woohoo!" Came a cheer from the living room. You grit your teeth and opened your eyes to see the result.

The test finally produced it's result: :)

It was positive! You threw the box of smiley face pregnancy tests across the room and they bounced off the wall. You heard a shriek from the other room.

"Keep it down in there, I'm trying to watch the big game!" Then a giggle followed.

I was so nervous, I couldnt tell Pennywise, if I interupted his big game he would so angry that he may mow the lawn or start grilling with a furiosity that would shake the earth itself.

After my recent clown bender (clender) where I spent romantic time with many, many, many sexy clowns of all shapes, sizes, and skills, the father could be anyone. Over the weeks I did IT with ronald mcdonald, bozo the clown, jared leto as joker, arthur fleck, joaquin phoenix as joker, pennywise, papawise, heath ledgers joker, bob gray, bill skarsgard, ellewise, and jack nicolsen joker. I netflix and chilled with all of them. Clowns were so sexy and clownish to me that I could never say no to a single one.

In regard to clown culture I decided that there was only one way to find out who the father was. I decided to host a raging clown party and invite all the possible clown fathers and try to solve the mystery.

I had to find out who would pay clown support. Clown children weren't cheap, a young clown child needed money for balloon animals, big red noses, and fake flowers! I put on my own big red clown nose and sent out a mass text to all the possible clown papas.

I got some responses.

Arthur Fleck: I-i-i-i-i'll bb-bbb-b-b there

Heath Ledger's Joker: Sure, I'll show up. After all, we live in a society.

Ellewise: watch'u want hoe?

papawise: i'll arrive shortly with pleasure ;))))

jared leto as joker: [an explicit image of his *****)

I shivered with anticipation of seeing all my sexy clown lovers in one room, perhaps we would even have a sewer orgy.

The next day I arrived at Arthurs Fleck apartment with balloons and three kegs of beer. The guests would be arriving soon and I was ready to start my interrogation.

I walked to the table to put the balloons down and suddenly jared leto joker jumped out from under the table!

"Boo bitch!" He screamed, his sultry grill glinted in the sun and i suddenly wanted it be in my own mouth.

He held up a dead pig and grinned at my evily. I stared at his tattoo that said "damaged" across his forehead and he began to laugh. His laugh reminded me of a creaking door that squeaked silly.

As I waited for the other clowns to arrive I started flicking through Arthur fleck's dvds. Most of it was slam poetry about society.

A knock at the door broke me from my thoughts. Then I heard a key turn and was greeted with Arthur Fleck's solemn face. He had been crying.

"I forgot this was my own house!" He chuckled sadly, making a show of holding up his key. Jared Leto started growling at Arthur from across the room but I pulled out my horse crop from my pants pocket and wapped it threateningly on the kitchen table. That silenced him.

The front door was still open and Ellewise and Bozo arrived in the doorway. Bozo was still on his unicycle. Both Ellewise and Bozo had their hair tussled like they just had a fun romp in the hay.

Ellewise shoved Bozo behind her and he almost fell off his unicycle. She stomped inside, her gold tooth glinting in the fluorescent lighting.

"Where's some Mike's Hard Lemonade!?" She screamed.

"I can't have any since I'm carrying a clown child and one of you is the father!" I said angrily, pushing my (your hair color) hair over my shoulder.

Ellewise sighed. Jared Leto was too busy picking the peeling paint off of Arthur Fleck's apartment and eating it to hear what was being said. Arthur Fleck suddenly dropped his pill bottle in shock and the pills scattered all over the kitchen.

He suddenly punched his refrigerator and left an impressive dent. "I can't take care of a child! I can barely take care of myself!"

Arthur Fleck leaped onto the counter and began pacing the short length of the island.

At this time there was a knock at the door. The knockees let themselves in. It was Ronald Mcdonald and Papawise.

"Where is my useless son?" Slurred Papawise, who was clearly drunk. He waltzed over to the keg and held it with both hands and started chugging it. Jared Leto as the Joker cheered him on. Arthur Fleck was on his back laying on the island, all limbs limp.

Ronald Mcdonald put on a cheerful smile and had his arms full of Mcdonald products.

"Where should I put these?"

Y/N responded, "Just over there." You pointed to the island and Ronald placed the bags of fast food on top of Arthur.

You started getting hungry from all the waiting and went to Arthur's pantry.

Upon opening it you found a familiar face, Bob Gray was hunched under the shelves, helping himself to a barrel of clam chowder and a side of corn bread. He scooped the chowder with a wooden spoon, slurping sensually. "Close the damn door, it's too bright out there!"

You complied and turned to see more friends joined the party. Heath Ledger's Joker, Bill Skarsgard, and Telltale's Joker had arrived, who brought his husband Bruce Wayne with him. All that left was...

"Pennywise! Where's Pennywise?" Papawise asked, helping himself Mcdonald's Mcdonalds. Ronald smiled at the fact.

With a menacing creak the door opened, revealing the silhouette of a very large clown man. I could see the outline of his stay at home mother haircut that poofed out at the sides. I could even see the outline of a very bulbous forehead and I got a little flustered.

Then I realized it was Pennywise! The room fell silent with fear as each of my other clown mistresses shifted nervously.

"Surprise!" Yelled Jared leto joker. He thought it was a surprise party, he had more braun than brains.

Pennywise glared around the room with an angry giggle. "Hello..." He said quietly and Papawise took a step forward.

"There's my useless clown son." He slurred and put a hand on his shoudler. "Let's do a kegstand as father and son."

"You're a deadbeat and a whore." Pennywise hissed and pushed his drunken father away.

Bob Gray crawled out of the closet with clam chowder dribbling down his chin.

"My friend. My old friend!" Bob said as he grabbed Pennywise's shoulder and shook it, spilling some clam chowder onto Pennywise's tufts.

Pennywise made a disgusted noise and shoved him away with full force, clam chowder splatting on the ceiling.

Bob gray fell flat on his back and Arthur sat up from his trance to see what all the fuss was about.

"What about me?" Spoke a sultry voice. It was Bill. "I better not get the same welcome." Bill snarled, stalking towards Pennywise. Pennywise's hair stood up on end like I had seen when my neighbor's dog was being aggressive. I instantly knew I had to get out of the way.

"Everyone get back!" I yelled. All my clown lovers got thrown against the apartment walls from the supersonic scream that emanated from Pennywise's Maw. All except Bill, who stood toe to toe with him.

"Scared little boy?" Bill growled.

"I'm not real enough for you Bill?" Pennywise screeched and he slapped Bill across the face like a character from the bad girls club.

Bill snarled sexily and jumped on Pennywise! He swung his fist against Pennywise's large head with a loud sickening crack. His large hand didnt even hit a third of Pennywises giant head.

"Don't hurt him!" I yelled, unsure which one I wanted to be left safe.

Just then Bob Gray jumped into the fight and the smell of clam cowder filled the room.

"I'd be a better role model for this baby than either of you!" Bob yelled and he kicked Bill in the crotch.

Pennywise took the advantage to kick Bob in the crotch, but while Bob was going down he swung out his long gangly leg and kicked Pennywise in the crotch as well, so all three were on the ground holding their crotches.

All three groaned in unison and the other possible clown dads had playful banter.

Telltale Joker said, "Yowch! But I do like that when Bruce does it in the bedroom. Heh heh." Bruce gave Telltale Joker a playful wink.

Arthur Fleck got off the counter and offered the three of them some of his pills.

Papawise was passed out in a corner covered in hamburger wrappers and Jared Leto was drawing "Damaged" on his forehead with a sharpie.

Bozo and Ellewise were having a makeout session on the couch, oblivious.

Suddenly Y/N felt a hard kick on your stomach, and heard a faint honking noise coming from inside. The baby was coming right now!

"I'm having this baby y'all!" You wailed. That got everyone's attention, everyone stood and began to prepare.


	10. rebirth and new beginnings

After a long day of shopping at the fashion mall, my clown brigade and I decided it was time to go home.

We started crossing a very busy highway and I had to pull Arthur fleck by the shirt backwards so he didn't get hit by the dumpster truck that zoomed past us. Jared Leto flipped off the driver.

We finally crossed the highway and I started counting heads. Everyone was here except for….Pennywise!

I looked back and he was on a gurney in a hospital gown in the middle of busy 90mph traffic. It was time to give birth!

"It's happening everyone!" I yelled as I rushed past the cars into the middle of the fray. My clowns followed me like little ducks do to mother ducks.

"Breathe Pennywise! Breathe and push!" I yell as Pennywise crushes my hand in his grip.

Suddenly I felt a surge of electricity jolt through my body and looked down to pennywise' hand, who was wearing a hand buzzer.

"Gotcha—AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed.

"You can do it Pennywise!" Heath Ledger yells.

"Have this baby!" Jared Leto yells as he jerks it in the corner.

I can hear honking coming Pennywise's swollen clown belly. A long jumbo clown shoe starts to appear, and then another! The shoes had a glossy sheen, that of a refined man, possibly from a tv adaptation of the book IT.

"No!" All my clown lovers yell in unison. "It's coming out feet first!" I see two large clown feet appear. The clown shoes are very large, even adult sized, and they must be very painful to get out.

"One more push Pennywise!" I cheer.

Pennywise couldn't take it anymore and went into a frenzy, He tugged at the restraints on the gurney and bit off my arm in a pain-filled rage with his many teeth.

Pennywise grips my hand hard in pain as he pushes again, and Arthur fleck comes and offers him some pills.

"Want some pills, pal?" Arthur asks.

"You're a cheap slut." Pennywise hisses with an evil giggle.

Suddenly Papawise (Tim Curry Pennywise) came in!

"Hello useless son!" He slurred drunkenly. He pulled out a scotch bottle and took a long drink. "Want some drink to wash your troubles away?"

"Get out of here!" I yelled, "My clown lover is trying to give birth over here!"

"I don't want your ale, you dumb street whore." Pennywise giggled.

Papawise glared at Pennywise. "You'll regret that." He slurred and slipped out the door.

As I studied the baby that was emerging I realized that the clown shoes were at least size twenty, and the legs that were coming out were adult size as well. He was giving birth to a full grown clown!

With the question still in the air of who the father was, I could only speculate as to what happened to lead to Pennywise birthing a full clown hunk of clown clown.

Bob Gray drove by, hanging out of his taxi with bowls of clam chowder in both hands.

"Want a slurp?" He asked oldly. He honked his taxi loudly as he rushed by at eighty miles per hour.

It was stressing Pennywise out and I grew nervous for his safety.

"Stop that!" I yelled. "Your endangering the baby!"

Pennywise gave one final push and the baby was born!

It was… a full grown clown! Everyone gasped as the newly birthed clown stood up beside his mother Pennywise.

He was sexy and white, he had a red clown nose, a sexy clown wig that I had seen in my dreams, and a clownish outfit!

It was… Papawise!

We all cooed over the cute Papwise and swaddled him in a blanket. His eyes were strangely red and we filled a baby bottle with scotch just for him.

It was hard to hold him since he was full grown, but Pennywise and I held him like a baby in his parents loving arms.

There were loud beeps and yells at us from the drivers who had to swerve around us.

Amidst the traffic and chaos, there was love.


	11. Nothankstaking

I gazed at the family dining room table and saw a vast sea of sexy red noses and smiled. I was so thankful this thanksgiving for not only my newborn baby, Pennywise's baby Papawise, but also for his 8 supportive father figures throughout the pregnancy.

Each of my sexy clown lovers brought their own turkey and they were all staring down at them.

Arthur Fleck brought a burned turkey because his many mental illnesses got in the way of cooking.

Heath Ledger brought an uncooked turkey with a bomb placed inside it. Bozo the clown heroically defused it before it blew us all to kingdom come.

Jared Leto brought a bag of worms and used condoms and thought we would all laugh but we didn't think he was funny because he's a weird.

Bob Gray brought a huge plastic cauldron of clam chowder which he struggled to get across the room with his feeble wrinkly arms.

Pennywise and I shared a knowing look that that bitch reused halloween decorations for thanksgiving.

Bill Skarsgard brought himself and we did jello shots off of him.

John Doe and Bruce wayne brought the only edible turkey that looked great because it was made by Alfred and asked once again if they could adopt Papawise from us.

As I was examining all the smiles on the proud creators of these turkeys' faces I heard a strange noise and peered under the blanket of the table.

Pennywise was there... GETTING OFF! It wasn't a tentacle.

We were at (y/n) house where framed photographs of me pennywise and our baby papawise. Suddenly! Papwise began to cry from his high chair. "I want Mcnaldos!"

Pennywise rolled his eyes, "You useless slut."

I gasped. "Don't call our baby that! Just because he's a full grown clown reborn doesn't mean he's a street whore!"

I slapped a white gloved open palm across Pennywise's makeup'd face. Everyone in the room gasped. Papawise's cries became more desperate and sexual.

I grabbed pennywise' downsouth zone and dragged him to our shitty broke down minivan, which was parked in front of a tent which harbored many a clown vagrant.

"OW OW OW" He wailed, and I shoved him into the driver seat. Then I buckled in junior Papawise into his adult-sized clownster seat in the back.

"Where's Pennywise's sexy 2019 jaguar when you need it?" I quipped to Papawise, who giggled. Pennywise snarled. "I don't know what you're talking about."

We drove to one MCNOLADOS but it was empty. The lights were on like it was open, and it said it was open on maps, but no one wasw answering the drive through and many people sat in a sad line waiting and wishing to be served.

Papawise hit me on the back of the head and I saw stars.

"I want chicken nuggets and scotch!" He cried.

Pennywise glared evily and slammed on the gas, tearing through the mcnaldos and all the car before us. The bodies of hungry customers flew over our windshield as he sped to the next Mcnaldos.

We finally reached the next Mcnaldo's after 20 minutes. I looked back and Papawise was going through Mcnaldo withdrawal. I had to get the chicken fast and I relayed this information to my legally bound husband next to me.

We pulled up to the driver through and ordered McScotch, McWhiskey, McVodka, and that's it. I knew anything else would give us the McShits.

Pennywise got to the window where u get ur McAlcohol and looked the McNaldo employee up and down and went "I haven't fed for 27 years you homewrecking wench." In that instant Pennywise shoved his elongated clown clussy through both the car window and the mcnaldo's window, pulling the employee into the car with him. He feasted.

(His clussy is extendable and can take miles of dick).

I gasped and covered papawise's grown eyes.

Suddenly! Ronald Mcnaldo showed up and shot Pennywise in the face with a sawed off shotgun with wooden bullets.

"Get out of my mcnaldos and leave these kids alone you red-nose, ballon tying, party two timing, tounge twisting, heart breaking, clussy destroying, bitch!"

Another loud bang rang out as he shot Pennywise with more wooden bullets.

Papaiwse grunted sexily. Ronald Mcnolado shot him in the face as well.

Pennywise spit out the wooden bullets with ease and threw them on the cold tile of the mcnaldo's. "I'm not real enough for you Ronald? It was real enough for Grimace."

Ronald's eyes looked as if they were two crying orbs. Meanwhile Papawise was in the back having consumption. "This is bad, Papawise isn't immortal like you!" I spit at Pennywise, who had fire in his eyes directed at Ronald, not noticing that his child was dying in the backseat.

White hot fear shot through every fiber of my being. Papawise's mass didn't hold me back and I hulked out and picked him up, rushing him to the nearest clownterrarium. I needed someone with clollege.

As I stood beside him as he lay in the hospital bed the nurses shook their heads at me with grim expressions, Bozo came in with his steathascope and shook his head sadly. I knew this was the end of my grown up clown baby.

Tears flooded down my pale face as the machines beside Papawise flatlined, and the doctors began to gather his clown noses and plastic flowers. I agreed to allow them to take him body to the local clollege for study, and I rode home on my unicycle.

Pennywise was waiting for me when I arrived home with a beer in his hand as he watched the big thanksgiving game. I sat down beside him and stared at his sexy clown bells on his clown uniform.

Suddenly! Papwise burst through the front door of our home!

"Where's my useless clown son?" He bellowed with a scotch in one hand and a vodka in the other, clearly drunk out of his mind.

He was no longer a clown baby, he was now a clown.


	12. A Very Clussy Christmas

A blanket of sadness spread over the room as me and my clown lover(s) looked at Arthur Fleck's pathetic lifeless ashes on the cold tile morgue table. Only a bright red clown nose remained piled atop where we guessed his nose might be. Arthur Fleck finally burned down his house with him inside due to all his mental illnesses.

I looked to a box of his personal effects and smiled fondly at all the memories they brought. Pill bottles. Those were good times.

I gazed upon my crew and heard a soft weeping sound. Ronald Mcnaldo, the man with the heart of gold and the giant clussy, was spilling forth his emotions onto ellewise's shoulder.

Bozo looked at Ronald sexily and knew the three were going to have a very emotional bang-session.

"I can't believe this happened before Christmas day…" cried Ronald.

Pennywise rolled his eyes and yelled "Bah!"

We all had a respectful moment of silence. Suddenly it was broken by Pennywise's scratchy voice.

"Let's get on with it." He snidely remarked. He waltzed over to the ashes clownishly and prized the nose from his Arthur fleck's dust.

"He won't be needing this anymore." Pennywise sneered selfishly as he stuck the red clown nose in his clown pocket.

"He wanted to be buried with his clown nose!" Bozo cried and Pennywise slapped him.

Bozo wailed, "Arthur's family will die of despair if they find out their family heirloom was stolen!"

"Then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population!"

His words shellshocked the funeral home-goers and the air was still.

"Good day." Barked pennywise as he walked out.

* * *

Pennywise got into his 2019 black jaguar and sped out of the funeral home. The tires of his new car splashed dirty puddles into the faces of the many clown vagrants that littered the streets.

"Please, sir, we're very hungry!" One clown child begged at him when he was at a stoplight.

The child peered up at pennywheezer and pennywheezer peered down at him. He lowered his sunglasses and silently rolled up his window. The child's fingers barely got out of the window in time or else they would have been crushed.

"Dumb sluts!" Pennywise yelled at the unfortunate and starving clowns as he went 50mph over the speed limit.

Pennywise walked up to his five story mansion and jangled with his keys. He looked up to insert it into the lock but was met with ARTHUR FLECK'S! ghostly face.

He fell backwards down the stairs and did a somersault to get away from him. He peered up the stairs and was met with a plain door.

"Must've been my slutty imagination..." He wondered.

He made sure to triple lock his doors.

"Can't be too careful with those poverty stricken vagrants..." He mumbled under his breath.

He entered the dark home and got dressed into his long clownjamas. It included a long sockish-hat that draped over his shoulder and gold-infused robes and slippers.

He sank into a chair in front of his fire place and said softly…"Bah Humbug. Those sluts think of no one but themselves…" And fell asleep, the heart monitor beeping him to sleep.

The sound of jingling awakes Pennywheezer from his sweet dreams.

"Who's there?" He spoke sharply into the darkness from the hospital bed.

The darkness said nothing to him in response. "Sluts." He said to nobody in particular.

He repositioned his pillow to the cool side and sighed.

"Wake up pennywheezer…" A whisper called out from behind the door.

Pennywheezer made a disgruntled noise into his pillow and actively ignored the voice.

5 seconds passed.

"WAKE UP PENNYWHEEZER!" Then suddenly it sounded all at once as if all the chains in bozo's sex dungeon were there in that room with him.

"Who…Who's there?" Shook pennywheezer, clutching his night cap and hospital sheets.

A ghostly form bust in through the hospital door, the sound that he originally thought were chains revealed themselves to be pills scattering on the floor.

"Pennywheezer..." Spoke a familiar voice.

"Go away you dumb ass for hire!" Pennywise yelled. He curled up in a ball and shook with fear.

"Y-y-you must attonnnnnnneeee." Arthur Fleck said nervously. "You have spent your life judging and living selfishly, you have let society change who you should have been!"

Pennywise rolled his eyes.

"W-w-we are all clownnnnnnnnns.

"HEAR MEEEEE PENNYWHEEEZERRR!" A million ghostly pills fell from the cieling.

"What must I DOO?" asked, Pennywheezer as he crawled on the ground begging for repentance.

"You will be v-visited by uhm... Three spirits." Arthur fleck explained as his ghostly form started picking up the pills one by one. "Only then can you be saved."

"I'm not being ordered around by some Jehovah's witness..." Mumbled pennywheezer under his breath.

"You're awful pennywheezer." He smiles, and then gestures towards himself and his sea of pills.

"This is what you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him and treat him like trash. I'll tell you what you get, you get what you fucking deserve!" He screamed at the top of his lungs

Pennywheezer gasped at arthur fleck's jedi ghost finally stood up for himself, even though it's unclear what he truly stands for.

"Don't end up like me Pennywheezer." Arthur fleck spoke softly. And then he was gone.

Pennywheezer was ataken back. He crawled back into bed and wondered when the first ghost would come. "They will probably be a dumb slut..." Thought pennywise aloud.

* * *

The clock struck 12 am and Heath Ledger was leaning against the clock. "Wakey wakey wheezeywise!" He said in his clownish voice.

"Are you the ghost of christmas past?" Whizzerwise asked.

"Uhhh yeahh." Heath ledger joker purred. "Let me take you on a tripppp."

Suddenly Heath hoisted Wheezewise onto his shoulders and jumped out the window.

"You crazy handwench!" Wailed pennywise.

Pennywise was suddenly walking through a very familiar circus.

"I know this place." Pennywise said fondly.

"I tried really hard to be the funniest clown because it's what my parents wanted, but I wanted to be a hip hop artist. My parents never understood me."

Heath Ledger Joker made a face at Wennywheezer.

He opened his coat and a vast array of bombs and grenades were strapped to his coat. He lifted his finger slightly, threatening to blow them all to kingdom come.

Pennywise dropped to his knees and begged for his life, kissing Heath Ledger's clown shoes.

"Please spirit, spare me! Spare my life, if I am even alive in this strange dream sequence!"

Heath Ledger stared down at him and slowly closed his jacket.

"They wanted to understand you, Pennywise. But they were going through a messy divorce. And you know what they say, madness is like gravity. All it takes is one little push. You should cut them some slack, bro."

Pennywise sniffled and stood up and once again locked arms with Heath Ledger Joker.

"Next stop, another one of your loser memories!"

Pennywise felt as if he was flying as a strong gust of wind blew him through the sky. They flew through the night sky and landed at another one of his clown tents where he grew up.

Both Heath and Pennywise spotted a little boy eating alone in a the tent as they entered.

Heath and Pennywise locked eyes. Pennywise's elongated body sagged as he watched the sad display of the clown boy eating alone.

"It's christmas morning and you were all alone?" Questioned Heath.

"Yeah. That was the worst Christmas of my life. I had just finished performing a show and got booed off stage. I was never going to make it as a proper clown."

The boy at the table started crying and a large hulking mass entered the tent. It was papawise.

"Quit crying my dumb son! The crowd didn't take well to you because you started rapping and went off script!"

"It's my dream, dad!" Screamed the tiny clown.

Mother clown entered the tent as well and handed a bourbon to Papawise, who swallowed it whole.

"Your father is right, son. You'll have a more stable career if you just do what you were born to do. Be a clown!"

The little clown boy sped out of the room, but his parents remained.

Pennywise grabbed Heath ledger's hand. "I've seen enough." He exclaimed.

Heath ledger spoke "Wait one second."

The parents started having a conversation.

"I'm worried about him." Spoke mother clown to papawise. Papawise held one of her gloved hands.

"I know. I am too. He might be a major screwup," Said papawise. And then he whispered "But he's still my son and I'm proud of him."

"I'm also proud of how glossy his clown nose has gotten." She said cheerfully.

Pennywise gasped and dropped to his knees. "I never knew..." He said.

Heath Ledger quirked a smile which was very unlike him.

"We have one last stop whizzowise." He put one hand on his shoulder which made pennywise uneasy.

"But if you're good at something you never do it for free..."

"What do you want." He said, still choked up at what he just witnessed.

"Admit that you were wrong about them."

Pennywise had a change of heart and cleared his throat, standing to his full height. He had a stubborn look about him.

Heath leadger opened his coat again and waggled his eyebrows.

"Fine... Maybe I should've been less judgemental.. And maybe they weren't both sluts..."

"Good enough!" Screamed Heath Ledger, and they were up at the sky again. This time they traveled far away from his clown homeland and went down a familiar street. The buildings turned more modern before their eyes.

They landed at a movie theater. Pennywise looked up at it and squinted. "I was just here not too long ago. Are you playing me for a fool, spirit?"

"The past is the past." Heath Ledger quipped.

Pennywise followed behind heath to the correct movie theater. They entered one that was playing "IT".

"Oh no..." Pennywise muttered under his breath.

There were only three people in the movie theater. Heath Ledger had it set in his mind to sit directly to the couple in the middle who pennywise knew all too well.

They took their seats next to y/n and pennywise. He observed himself and ran a hand through his flaming red hair, obviously uncomfortable. His past self didn't know he was even there. He knew what was going to happen next.

Like clockwork an old lady in the front row yelled "I could do a better job at satisfying that clown!"

"Right on." Said heath ledger, amused.

A familiar voice yelled, "Bitch, we should euthanize the old!" Pennywise cowered at hearing himself say those words. He couldn't take it anymore, and covered his eyes.

"No, you have to look. LOOK!" Heath ledger tore his arms from his face.

It was then that past Pennywise threw a big gulp at old lady.

Whizzywise was shaking.

"Now do you see? Do you see what you have become, and how you look outside of yourself? It's not too late wheezewise. You can still change!" They left the movie theater and started walking down the sidewalk.

"Umm... Thanks. For showing that to me. I think I understand." Pennywise said. Heath Ledger had stopped walking alongside him and was a few feet behind him.

"What's wrong?" Questioned pennywise.

"This is my last stop..." Said Heath, solemnly. "You can change if you put your mind to it, penny...remember that."

And then all in one second heath ledger triggered the bombs strapped to himself, and blew himself to kingdom come, knocking pennywise backwards and unconcious.

* * *

Pennywise woke with a gasp. He was back in his mansion, but was met with the cold marble of his floor.

He let out a quick one in distress, trying to take in his surroundings.

Was it all a dream? Or was he really being guided by ghosts to go through redemption?

Suddenly, A team of D.A.R.E advocats rushed into his room, shouting about how drugs were the devils playground and that he should abstain.

Pennywise jumped up, "Get out of my room you whores!"

"Say no to drugs!" Yelled a rando who was wearing a D.A.R.E to be drug free t-shirt.

Suddenly there was a loud thump of footsteps that shook the whole house and sent the D.A.R.E advocates flying through the air and one shot right through the window.

"Who's there?" Pennywise cried in horror, and then a huge gorilla foot crashed through the door, splintering it to pieces.

A giant gorilla with the small shurken head of Stephen King came in, he was wearing a D.A.R.E shirt as well.

"I'm Stepehn Kong." Said the big hairy gorilla. His tiny ugly human head looked like a big raisin atop those bulky shoulders.

"I write good endings and I don't write about child sex." He said proudly and even Scroogewise couldn't deny that what he said was quite admirable. He started getting jealous.

"I'm a purebred clown." Weslewise boasted and Stephen Kong rolled his eyes.

Stephen Kong held out his big gorilla hand. "Time to feel the pain of the present."

And then he slapped pennywise's ass very hard.

Stephen kong grabbed pennywise with a very musculur enlongated monkey arm that pennywise couldn't stop looking at. He was seething with envy.

He got thrown onto his silverback gorilla back and was told "Hang on!"

Stephen kong grew 1000 sizes large and crossed mountains and oceans with ease. They arrived at y/n (sal suey's) house. There was obviously a christmas party happening inside.

They approached the front door and pennywise got nervous.

"You weren't invited, you know that right?" Stephen Kong quipped.

"I'm still anxious..." Says pennywise. He fiddled with his clown shirt.

Just then Stephen king lifted wheezewize with one arm and threw him through the front door, ragdolling him in the middle of the living room. It smelled like a christmas cookies and good tidings.

The gang was all there exchanging phone numbers and presents, not caring that the most important clown of all wasn't there.

Y/n was sitting sadly in your armchair next to the fireplace. Jared leto approached and tried to ask for your number. Pennywise looked furious.

You turned him down and pennywise was proud that you knew who you belonged to.

Ronald Mcdonald asked everyone to gather around the dining room table to share christmas cheer.

"Where's the eggnog!" Asked papawise.

They all sat down and shared christmas stories. It was all a bunch of boring hubbub to pennywise until he heard his name in the conversation.

"Has anyone seen my idiot son, pennywise?" Asked papawise.

"Who cares?" Said ronald mcnaldo. Pennywise expected y/n to come to his defence, but you laughed at the joke instead.

A single clownish tear emerged from his tear ducts and fell on the floor.

"They all hate me?" Wheezlewise asked Stephen Kong.

"It sure looks that way, son. After all, when's the last time you had a conversation with them without it ending in you calling them a slut?"

He looked at pennywise expectendly.

He started sweating bullets. "Now wait just a minute. I know there's at least one time!"

Stephen Kong sighed. "Let me show you something."

He walked pennywise over to the basement of your house that always had a comically large lock on it.

"I'm not allowed down there." He steadfastly told stephen kong, crossing his arms.

Stephen kong let out an "Oog." and his ghostly form passed through the door. Pennywise was alone, but not totally alone, as he could hear his so-called friends still mocking him in the other room.

"I'd rather be anywhere but here." He snarked, and passed through the basment door.

His eyes had to adjust to the darkness and harsh glare from the single lightbulb that hung from the ceiling of the basement.

Stephen kong's back was turned to him and he was looking at something.

Pennywise walked up next to him and saw what caught his interest. The lightbulb illuminated it: it was a cardboard cutout of himself! He was in one of his classic clownly poses. He felt proud.

"Do they come down here to worship me or something?"He joked. Stephen kong smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. His glasses shone from the lightbulb. "No, son..."

"Shush, someone's coming!" Pennywise said to stephen kong, but then realized how silly that sounded as they were ghosts. "Sorry, i forget... who is that?"

Y/n was walking down the stairs, a frown on your face.

"It's y/n!" He said, smiling.

You walked to the corner of the room and picked up an object pennywise didn't notice before due to the darkness. It sounded like metal.

Y/n marched over to the center of the room and only then did he realize what it was.

An ak-47.

"Why does she have that? What is she doing?" Pennywise begged to stephen kong.

You emptied a full magazine into pennywise's cardboard cutout, screaming while you did so. This lasted a couple of minutes until you were panting and out of breath.

All pennywise could do was watch in horror.

Y/n looked happier than when you were originally and set the ak-47 back against the wall. You skipped up the stairs and whistled a tune.

"I thought... I thought she was the one I could truly trust... But I was wrong..."

Stephen kong did an uppercut and through pennywise up through the cieling into the sky, only for him to land in the same spot by his side.

The cardboard cutout of him gazed down judgingly, bullet holes and all.

Kongwise held his gorilla hands in front of himself. "Let's see: You bit her arm off, insulted her and called her a slut, almost burned her to death, gaslit her, lied to her, tried to eat her adopted baby, ran her over with your car...the list goes on and on, pennywise."

All pennywise could do was star at the cardboard cutout. Kongwise continued.

"If you don't redeem yourself... that's going to be you in the future."

Suddenly the old granfather clock from upstairs struck 12.

Stephen kong let out a bloodcurdling scream.

"What's happening to you?" Pennywise asked.

"It's a shame... christmas day can't last forever..." Kongwise's body twisted and turned as if all his mass was being vaccuumed out of him. His body started to shrink and twist grotesquely, until he was the size of pennywise's fist. "Dare to be... drug free..." Were his last words.

Pennywise mourned his newfound friend and looked to his left to see a silhouette, it was y/n with a glock.

"I missed you." She said, but was obviously talking to the cutout. Pennywise had newfound hope and walked towards y/n, arms spread, but the sound of a shot rang out and it all went black.

* * *

Pennywise awoke again, all the blood drained from his body. He felt as if he weighed a thousand pounds. A thunderstorm rang out through his mansion, the thunder echoing off the cold tile.

Before he could catch his breath and think about everything that happened a skeletal hand was held out in front of his face.

His eyes begrudgingly dragged up the hand, then the arm, and then finally met with the owner of said skeleton hand. It was bill skarsgard.

He was wearing a black robe and a long pointy-tipped witch's hat.

He spoke no words.

Bill's long skeletal hand slowly pointed over to the front door and stared unblinkingly at pennywise who was still laying on the floor.

"You want me to...follow you?" Asked pennywise, which bill slowly nodded yes to.

Pennywise then noticed he was bare ass naked and his clothes must've been shot off of by y/n.

The pair wandered the streets and even though it was gloomy and raining, everyone seemed to be in high spirits. There were streamers and balloons on every street corner. Confetti could be found on every road and sidewalk.

He recognized someone's face who was carrying a briefcase and was in a nice tuxedo. It was papawise! He also looked sober for once.

"He got clean!" Pennywise said, astonished.

"Then you're the ghost of christmas future? This is the future?"

Bill Skarsgard nodded, his creepy golem eyes unblinking at him.

They continued down the road and finally reached town square. There was a festival of some sort happening, and the clown marching band was there which graced pennywise's clown ears sexily.

Pennywise started dancing to the music. "I look forward to the future." He told Bill.

Bill then grabbed his face and turned it sharply to look at a giant poster in town square.

It was pennywise's face. "Is this a celebration for me?" He questioned honkily.

Ghost of billmas future shook his head grimly.

They approached the crowd and something was chucked at his head. He ducked on impulse, but it phased right through him..

"Hey, those were my clown shorts! What are they doing here?"

He walked to the stage and heard an announcer who was auctioning off items.

"One pair of well-worn clown shoes! Can I get 1 dollar?" The auctioneer was y/n!

"So she finally turned on me and stole my things" He thought aloud. He started pacing the stage but something caught his eye. A dumpster was off to the side, fallen over, with trash strune everywhere. For no reason in particular he wandered over to it and instantly shat his pants.

His body was in the trash. He was dead and y/n was selling off his things instead of buring him with his belongings like he asked! "How disrespectful! I wanted to be buried with my things, especially my clown nose!"

Bill skarsgard loomed over him and his face morphed into one not unlike his own. "He won't be needing this anymore!" He mimicked.

"NOOOO!" Pennywise cried. "This can't come to pass! I'll do anything! I've learned redemption! Please, I'll even jerk it for you!"

Suddenly the sun eclipses and Pennywise is dropped into one giant clown shoe.

Atop the opening of the shoe pennywise can make out bill's figure aggressively jerking it.

His body continues to fall further and further into the abyss until it feels like he hits solid ground and blacks out.

* * *

His body hit solid ground. He looked up at the cieling expecting to see bill of christmas future jerking it but to no avail, he was home.

Pennywise sprang up from his bedroom floor like he was 10 years old instead of 1000 years. He raced down the stairs and went into the street. People were singing christmas carols.

He got in his 2019 jaguar and drove the speed limit, and followed all the laws.

He noticed the huge dent and crack of his windshield and had a sinking feeling. He'd make this up to y/n, there was still time!

At a stop light the same child who's fingers he almost crushed was again on the street corner.

Pennywise rolled down his window and beckoned him over with a gloved hand.

"Hey you sl- I mean child? Can you come over here please?" He asked softly. They complied and looked up expecting to get roundhouse kicked.

Pennywise opened his car door and took out the keys, handing them to the clown child. "Merry christmas!" He bellowed.

"Wow mistah, thanks!" The child hopped in the 2019 jaguar and floored it.

"That felt...nice." Thought pennywise.

"One more stop..." He walked the rest of the way to y/n's house.

Pennywise approached your house meekly and heard rambunctious laughter inside. He let himself in and silently walked to the living room, hiding behind the doorway.

"Has anyone seen my useless son?"

Pennywise looked down at his clown shoes. They were still his. He could do this.

Mcnaldo said "Who's cares?" Before anyone else could peep a word, pennywise entered the room, fully nude, physically and emotionally.

Y/N's face lit up, and stood to welcome him into the room. "Pennywise, you came!" You said.

"Yes.. if you'll have me..." Pennywise said bashfully.

Papawise approached and said "there's my useless son!" and put an arm around his shoulders.

Everyone expected fists to start flying but instead pennywise embraced his father. his son.

FIN

Or is it?

The real Stepehen King came in, his body was frail and old, not like the tough gorilla he had seen before. It was the real Stephen King who writes bad endings and creepy things about children. He was very unwoke.

"What are you doing here?" Pennywise asked and Stephen King grinned an evil grin.

"I don't like this good ending, I want things my way because I'm a giant baby."

He pulled out a giant typewriter from his pocket and everyone gasped. The paper in the typewriter said "Clown Love" at the top.

Pennywise gasped as he began to type. "Please don't change the ending!" He cried, but it was to no avail.

Stephen King typed away evily, rewriting the ending and changing Pennywise back to his usual evil self.

As he finished typing Pennywise convulsed and fell to the floor.

"Pennywise?" Y/N asked sadly.

Pennywise jumped up and glared at her. "Sluts." He scoffed and left the room.

"I'm a palpatine and I am being controlled by palpatine himself." Pennywise added proudly before he stormed away.


	13. A Hog Killin' Time

_Rootin; tootin; toil n' shootin'_

_Fire burn and cowboy bootin'_

_Eye of newt and spicy beans,_

_Toe of frog and denim jeans,_

_Whiskey, grits, n' demon spittle _

_tossed into my iron griddle_

_With the tannin' of our hides,_

**_Somethin' wicked this way rides. _**

* * *

Tumbleweeds rolled by westernly as I dusted dust off my cowboy boots and spit some of my molasses into a tin. I heard the telltale moo sound of mooing as bozo wrangled his cattle and he turned to me.

"Buisness is good pardner, want a herfer?"

"No thanks," Y/N answered, pulling her (YOUR/HAIR/COLOR) hair into a cowboy hat. "I'm going vegan, but have fun with your swastika."

Bozo slapped me hard across the face with his horse crop. "I work hard for these hefers."

Suddenly! Pennywise walked in in his western clown garb and a gaint ten galloon hat that stretched ten feet in the air and hit the ceiling.

"Howgy Ho Hardner!" He greeted, his assless chaps flapping in the breeze.

"How do you explain clowning to a clown that has no clowns?" Y/n asked Pennywise as you milked a cow.

"I have clowns that wont quit you slut." Clownwise clapped back.

Pennywise jumped onto the saddle of his black 2019 horse and began to gallop away. He was out on a clown journey in westworld that was sure to bring chaos.

Cowboywise made his way to blackwater and hitched his horse. His sun kissed ass cheeks shone in the light, his natural white skin tanned from the harsh summer blaze of glory. He walked bowlegged over to the local saloon, and when entering his 1000 gallon hat squished a bit to accommodate the ceiling.

Suddenly the piano player stopped playing. Every cowpoke and lady of the night stopped what they were doing to see the clownfellow that entered.

Pennywise bellowed, "Got anything to eat in this dump?" For that split second everyone made their judgements and quickly went about their business.

A middle aged woman in a suit worked the bar and he took a seat in front of her. Her nametag clearly read "bowers" and she was wiping down the counter and spitting in some cups to clean them.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Pennywise said lowly.

Bowers responded, "A woman's got to eat, and being a social worker doesn't put food on the table. Nevermind that, what can I get ya honey? Some popcorn perhaps?" That got a chuckle out of a man next to pennywise.

"Ya got something to say, pardner?" Pennywise growled.

The man looked like he hadn't bathed in 10 years and his pristine clown makeup had long been tarnished. He looked like he rolled in dookie.

"Yeah I got somethin' to say. I see a cowpoke who thinks he runs the joint the second he walks into it. You gotta earn that title. I for one, did, and I'm badah ba ba ba; lovin it."

Pennywise scanned the man head to toe. He had steel toed shoes and a giant metal belt that had engraved golden arches on it.

All at once pennywise stood up, knocking his whiskey over and swallowing the spilled drink all in one gulp before it could fall to the floor. He then did a leg sweep and knocked Ronald mcdonald off his stool. He pulled out his Winchester rifle. His trigger finger discipline had always been sublime, but today he just wanted to ruin someone's day.

He pulled the trigger to Ronald mcdonald's head and Ronald flew backwards out the bar window. The crowd gasped and everyone scattered out the bar.

The only person who remained was the bartender, bowers, and she was shaking in her three-piece suit.

Pennywise sat back down and giggled.

"I'll take another whiskey. Double."

Pennywise was very drunk. He went and began to piss in the street.

Suddenly Bob Gray hobbled up to him in cowboy garb and leaned on Pennywise as he pissed.

"I have a very rare opportunity, a once in a lifetime offer. You see im a treasure hunter, and recently I have acquired a very valuable map that I acquired from a mysterious native American man that I won in a game of poker he told me that it could bring good fortune to those who follow it. Lets split the winnings eh?"

Pennywise finished picking his teeth with a fork he took from the saloon. He made eye contact with the old man as he was pissing, and stopped pissing every time he spoke and started again when he paused.

He wiped his clown gloves on his jeans spoke. "How about you just trade me that map? Here, I got something for ya."

Pennywise pulled out a glass bottle full of some liquid.

"It'll revitalize the tendons, cure whatever ails you, and give you your youth back. I use it, and look at me." Pennywise chuckled.

Bob gray was in awe.

"All you gotta do is give me that little ole map, and this will all be yours!" Pennywise held up the miracle tonic triumphantly.

"Uhh I dunno partner. My momma raised me right not to take strange potions from strangers." Bob gray said.

Pennywise shoved it into his hands. "Here, just look at it."

Bob gray acted as if he had been struck. "No, no I don't want it!"

Suddenyl pennywise stabbed his fork through the mans hand. Bob gray screamed and fell to the ground and Pennywise looted his corpse and took the map and took his miracle cure back. He did an action jump through the window of the saloon and bowers screamed.

Pennywise waltzed up to bowers and handed her the bloody fork, as well as his miracle tonic.

"Keep the change. And if you sell enough of these... You could get wealthy." He clowned.

Pennywise strutted out of the bar and pulled out the treasure map he prized from that tuberculosis ridden, clam-chowder eating old man.

He found his horse and jumped on it, going to the first marker on the map: a strangely shaped mountain he had seen coming in to town.

A few hours passed and pennywise was getting beat down by the sun, the trip becoming more difficult as it rose. The heat made him woozy and he felt as if he was starting to see things, like women being held captive. He blinked.

A woman was tied up on the back of someone's horse for real, and they sped past! She was hooting and hollering.

"Mister! You with the hat, you can stop this!" Her voice became more distant.

He was still looking down at his treasure map and realized he had almost the mountain, but the captive woman was being dragged away.

"Whatever…" He muttered, and twisted his horse in a fashion so fast it almost toppled over. He chased after the man and finally caught up with the captor, finally getting a good look at his face. He looked like the hindquarters of bad luck.

Pennywise chuckled, then spoke. "You ain't right in your upper story. What's the matter with you partner? Tying up a lady of the night like this."

The man slowed to a halt and turned his head in a dramatic fashion. Pennywise pulled out a large novelty flower.

"Whats that supposed to do? Am I supposed to be intimidated?" The man hollered.

Pennywise pulled the flowers trigger and the flower shot wooden bullets at the man with a loud bang, killing him good.

Pennywise grinned a clown grin and threw the women on the back of his horse.

"What are you doing mister? Let me go!"

"You're cargo now Mary!" He said in an evil clown voice.

Suddenly Papawise rode up on a donkey, the smell of bourbon wafting up his ass. "There's my useless clown father son!"

Pennywise made a quick "YAH!" noise and kicked his horse hard, making it mow over papawise and his donkey. "You'll never understand me son/dad!" He bellowed. He also tossed a mircle cure onto his body.

"Hell's teeth!" Mary yelled from the back of cwise's horse.

Mary had a very homely bonnet and conservative prudish bloomers on.

"I have a whole day planned for us, my mary!" Pennywise called out behind him. All mary said was "You really are crazy!" and "Hell's teeth!" over and over again.

Pennywise made his way up into the snowy mountains, making sure to check if mary had died of exposure.

They finally reached a house. It had little protection from the cold, but was better than nothing.

He carried her over his shoulder like a sack of tuberculosis bricks and threw her into a room.

"Let's see how much heat you can take, barwench!"

At that Pennywise juggled three Molotov cocktails out of his clockets and threw all three at mary at once, lighting up the room and ground around her. Pennywise whistled a long whistle and admired the flames as they licked their way up the walls, nary a mary in sight. He pulled out a stick and marshmallows and started roasting them on the fire.

Finally, the flames died out. The room was filled with smoke but cbwise could make something out amidst the fumes, a struggling form... It was mary!

She was hollering and wriggling trying to get free of her restraints.

"Well darn tootin, Mary. That bonfire didn't faze ya one lick. I guess I'll have to find other means to deliver you to our savior..." He growled.

Pennywise lifted Mary back up onto his horse and they left the decrepit house. They made their way through the snow and passed over a frozen-over lake.

Hours had passed and they were back in civilization. Pennywise spotted some train tracks and stroked his deluxe faux clown beard(tm) evily.

"I never fail to impress myself, mary!" He launched her from his horse and onto the train tracks. He pulled out his premium vape rig and took a big drink? He vaped it.

He sauntered over to Mary, a sliver of sympathy seemed to come over him. He crouched down and offered his vape rig. "Want a hit?"

"Doesn't looked like anything to me." She said. Pwise rolled his eyes and as he was rolling them spotted the telltale sign of train smoke.

"Well WHOO doggies, Mary, we're in for a show tonight!" Pennywise started square dancing by himself and clog dancing as well. He tipped his 100 gallon hat to mary. "My condolences, but it just had to happen this way." The train finally reached her and let out an ear shattering honk, telling her to get out of the way. Little did they know, this was pwise's plan all along.

The train conductor struggled to stop but it was too late. The train finally met mary...But then she just blinked out of existence.

"What in hell's teeth...?" Pwise muttered to himself. The train left the area but mary was nowhere to be found. Not one trace of her bonnet was in the area.

"Goddamn you mary, you son of a bitch!" Pennywise fell to his knees.

Suddenly a crowd gathered around him, carrying torches and pitchforks.

"What is this?" He wailed.

"We're your swindlees! Look familiar?"

Pennywise looked over the crowd and recognized the faces. They were of the people he sold the miracle cures to.

"We all lost our money trying to peddle your junk! Well you're gonna get it now!" The angry mob chased after pennywise until he reached the edge of the park. He fell off a cliff and fell under the map. He spotted a figure and ran over to them. It was mary.

She pulled out a glock and pennywise felt a familiar feeling as if this had happened before. Then all he saw was darkness.


	14. Race to Space

Run away train never looking back. Run away train down that one way track. Bada-bada-ba. Danananana.

Pennywise was quickly running out of oxygen as he floated spread eagle among the stars. He could see bill down on earth, smirking, like he was proud of the work he'd done. He could see bill still holding the red eject button that he had pressed which sent pennywise careening up into the clouds and beyond.

Bob Gray floated past with a steaming cauldron of clam chowder in both hands. He smelled strangely of syrup. It was corn syrup.

"Wanna slurp of my homeade award-winning vegan fda approved chowder?"

Pennywise gasped animatedly and mustered all the in his lungs to respond. He used the last of his air to say:

"SLUT."

And then he blacked out.

Pennywise awoke to the taste of syrup on his lips. He opened his eyes to see Bob Gray's form inches from his own.

Bob gray's aged loafers, dusty overalls, and yellowed shirt had crystallizing from the vaccuum of space.

Droplets of chowder floated amongst them.

Bob Gray floated over to pennywise and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Ye almost died of consumption, bruddah."

Pennywise shoved Bob's hand off of him harshly, and since there was no gravity, shot him through space so much that bob had flames shooting off him like a meteor.

Jared leto had a successful day of dumpster diving and was looking up at the sky with his gold teeth and face tattoos. He laid back in the trash and looked up at the sky.

"Look a shooting star!" Jared Leto said, unaware that Bob Gray was currently turning into another one of god's stars.

Pennywise was left alone once more in the cold vacuum of space, with nothing but bob's clam chowder cauldron and his thoughts.

Suddenly a clown looking akin to pennywise in an astronaut suit floated up to pennywise.

He had a feminist book tucked under each arm.

"Ever taken a gender studies class?" Dennywise demanded angrily.

"Who're you!?" Pennywise asked.

"My name's Dennywise and I'm here to say,

That disprespecting woman is never the way,

Women are beautiful women are smart

If you say slut again I might just shart!"

Pennywise crinkled his nose. "Street whore..."

Pennywise socked Dennywise directly in the face as hard as he could sending Dennywise careening backwards into the sun.

There was a soft "pff" as Dennywise turned into just another crater on the surface of the giant star.

Dennywise's life was short and sweet.

Once again Pennywise was alone, to know fault of his own, he thought.

A women's study book floated into him, and pennywise flipped to the 69th page.

He was now woke.

Pennywise stepped hard on the gas in his 2019 black jaguar, and flew back to earth.

He landed in an area unkown to him and hopped on the first train he found...

TO BE CONTINUED!


	15. the Tragedy of the Triple-D's

xDDDD my mom took my laptop away so srry for the late update! ENJOY x3

The hustle and bustle of the Honks & Drinks bar dominated your thoughts. You couldn't sit still for one second as business was booming, which made your boss, Mrs. Bowers, booming as well. She wore a broad grin which was unlike herself. You hoped she would share some of her happiness by fattening up your paycheck.

'Speak of the devil.' Y/n thought, as your boss brisked pass you and picked up the tv remote, turning on the news.

"I can't believe it..." She murmered, more to herself than the crowd that was gathering. They muttered amongst themselves, beers in hand.

The telly flashed through an array of channels, some static and others blue screens. Bowers finally reached the channel she was looking for: the 6o'clock news channel.

"Late last night, a clown was speeding down balloon animal bld at 60 mph over the speed limit, when he hit a stray red nose. His 2020 black jaguar did a triple backflip, and the unsuspecting victim was flung through their windshield 500 feet in the air, and only found the ground again when he was impaled on a giant novelty hotdog."

A giant collective gasp broke out amongst the crowd. Some shared their novelty handkercheifs to dab at their eyes. The news reporter continued.

"Only his staggering, bulbous triple-d's survived the encounter unscathed. His body was identified by his driver's license, which was 30 years overdue for renewal. Betwix his staggering bosom there was a message in a bottle, just in case his rock & roll lifestyle led to an untimely demise. His will and testament read: 'The world would be a better place if less of you were such staggering whores. I leave this mortal realm proud to be a purebred clown'."

It was then that his driver's license flashed on the screen for all to see. A clown with a spacious forehead and a smug and arrogant smile. He donned sunglasses, even indoors. Though he was far less aged and had a more youthful glow, everyone in the crowd broke out into an uproar of sobs. They knew that face.

It was pennywise!

Suddenly! A large 300-pound clown in a moblike business suit with 2 cigars sticking out of either side of his mouth kicked the door open and staggered in reeking of bourbin. It only 3 strides for him to reach the bar because his strides were so full of width. He could cross the atlantic in 2 steps if he so desired. He was stumbling and slurring his words.

You paced over to the new customer, eyes still on the telly. You slid cashews, salted almonds, cinnamon-sprinkled pecans, unshelled pistachios, tree nuts, pine nuts, oven-baked chestnuts, shelled-peanuts, sunflower seeds, walnuts, macedamia nuts, coconuts, acorns, hickory nuts, mixed nuts, raw nutz, deez nuts, salted and seasoned nuts, coffee beans, pumpkin seeds, corn nuts, hex nuts, cupling nuts, wingnuts, socket-barrel nuts, hank-bush nut, slotted nuts, cupling nuts, square nuts, retainer nuts, washer nuts, wheel nut, cage nut, and jam-nuts.

The customer eyed them warily and then slid his gaze to the news station.

You look at the nuts, and taste a nut. Then you look back at the nuts.

You turn to the nuts, and see a single tear roll down the new customer's face as he witnesses the skewered double-d's. He takes a melancholy puff of his cigars and speaks.

"That used to be my useless clown son."

You feel pity for the clown.

Bowers tears her eyes away from the newscaster and approaches your forlorn 300-pound nut denier.

"You're looking at a mobster legend, y/n. This guy runs all of downtown clownville. I buy my weed from him."

In a blur of motion all at once, the 300 pound clown clown erupts from his chair, breaking his bourbon bottle over mrs. bower's head.

"Speak when spoken to."

You blinked and looked at the assailant, then back up at the news. He looked quite familiar.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" You questioned, one eyebrow cocked.

"I am a living legend. If you had ever met me you'd be sure of it." He growled. "Now get me another round..." He waved everyone in the bar down to get their attention.

"In fact, next round's on me. You can thank my idiot son for that, as well as his triple-d's!" He spoke, with a smug grin that knew he was worth THE fight. He exhaled three cigars into the room, effectively obscuring everyone's vision.

Amidst the smoke he spotted you and reached over the bar, throwing you over it and whispered,

"No clown has ever clowned as hard as I've clowned... Not even the other mob bosses of the world...Not even my deceased double d'd son."

He pulled out a checkbook and beckoned to y/n, trying to get bower's attention who was still unconcious on the bar room floor.

"How much for the harlot?" He asked bowers, and looked you up and down. Bowers was still unconcious.

"So that must mean free!" He wailed, sexily, throwing you over his shoulder.

TO BE CONTINUED?


	16. Clools out for Clummer

The bell rang throughout the cligh school as the clock struck 8 am. Roves upon roves of students poured out of the classroom.

Y/N finished up your science test as all the students shuffled out into the hall. Your teacher, stephen king, was wiping down the chalkboard with a rag.

"All done there Y/N?" He called to me. I scrambled to close my bag and turned in the test.

Stephen king looked over my test, but not before snorting some strange white powder off his desk.

"This looks very promising Y/N" He murmurs happily, while high. "You're becoming the top of your class!" He complimented me.

"Thanks teach." I said as I eyed the powder. I quickly slipped out the door, hoping to avoid the cops.

I walked down the hallway and heard a loud clang against the lockers, followed by nervous laughter.

A crowd was gathered amidst the commotion.

Another loud bang followed by some screaming beckoned me to the scene. A high pitched shrieking voice graced my eardrums.

"You've whored around these halls long enough, time to pay the fee: for soiling what it's like to be a clown!"

You peered up at the owner of the voice. He was tall, and handsome as hell.

I studied his body hungrily. His sleek, long clown shoes were polished and shining. Long, almost-ape like legs and arms met with strong masculine shoulders. Full, luscious lips were dripping with some sort of strange liquid. He donned gucci brand sunglasses. And his forehead...

You could write poetry of the hills upon hills that donned his cranium. Endless and bountiful, the waters would never run dry. A terrified voice broke you of your daydreams.

"I-I'll pay it next time pennywise, h-honest!"

That response seemed to satisfy the tall clown. He dropped the small skinny man onto the linoleum flooring and pulled out a handkercheif from his pocket, wiping down himself in disgust.

He looked out into the crowd and wrinkled his nose.

"This show isn't for free. Either pay or scram you sluts!"

The crowd dissapaited, but I felt as if a higher force was controlling my body. I stood stark still holding a stack of books.

The bell rung and it was just me and him in the hall. Even though he wore sunglasses, he wasn't slick. I could tell he was looking right at me.

Through fear, worry, and a little lust I lost my grip on my books and they flew across the floor with a loud thunk, echoing off the cold tile.

Suddenly he was inches from me.

"Having trouble there?" He snickered, eyes shifting from the mess on the floor to me with a look of amusement.

I gulped a little louder than I intended without making eye contact and slowly reached to the floor, worrying that at any moment he could bite any of my appendages off with his sharp teeth.

Suddenly! The slam of a bathroom door snapped both our heads to the noise.

A lanky, balding man walked out of the men's bathroom. He wore janitorial clothing, and a sheet of toilet paper trailed behind him, and was missing at least half of his teeth.

His knees creaked as he walked, and his spine was very mishapen. He had bruises all over him from past incidents of youth throwing rocks at him. Some kids were actively throwing rocks at him.

He pulls out a bottle of windex and asked, "Does anybody want a slurp?"

Pennywise growled at him angrily.

"My friend, my old friend!" Bob gray cheered at pennywise, saddling up to him.

"You're not my friend, you ass for hire." Spat pennywise angrily.

Bob Gray smirks at y/n and whispered in your ear, "Remember that time we had in the alley?"

Pennywise's eyes widen with fear and some unknown emotion.

"You're bank for spank TOO?"

In disbelief, he charged away, leaving a melancholy trail of carnival peanuts behind.

Y/N got to gym class and spotted pennywise. He was still upset at me.

I had to find a way to impress him, and show him I wasn't a slut!

I charged into the art room and doused myself in construction paper, then taped construction paper over every inch of exposed slutty, whorish skin. Then I made myself a club sandwich and took a large prudish mouthful, I feasted. Then I made myself choclate milk and took a large swig, it paired well with my sandwhich. Then I made myself a makeshift pair of sunglasses and stormed out onto the court where Pennywise was on the court smashing tetherball, hitting the ball so hard that it had knocked out every student and teacher who dared to infringe upon his personal space. He was hitting the ball so hard and vigoursouly that it was just a blurr.

"Stay back sluts!" Pennywise shouted sexily.

I crab walked over to him, covered head to toe with only small conservative slits for my eyes. I tippped my construction paper sunglasses at him. I glanced at Arthur Fleck behind me as he was giving free lap dances, I tipped my hat at him and tip toed over to Pennywise.

Pennywise quickly shielded his tent at the sight of me, as to not give away his true feelings of the mass coverage, however, the sunglasses were not gucci, and he snarled, and the clown hair stood up on the back of his neck in an aggressive stance.

He threw a pitcher of water on y/n and all the paper quickly disintegrated, revealing your true nature.

Pennywise snorted. "Just what I thought. Once a slut always a slut!" And he marched away.

I cried and ran from the court and to the teachers lounge to report what Pennywise did. There I saw Stephen Kong, our D.A.R.E. advocate, eating a very healthy meal of kale and carrots and bananas and barley. Beside him was Papawise who was the master mixoloigist of the school, who was drinking three bottles of burbon for lunch.

The principal Bozo the clown and his husbando ronald mcdj donald were enjoying, relishing, and appriciating a gormet meal of chicken sandwhichs and nuggests and syrup and milksakes and apple pies that were made of syrup.

They all smiled at me as I entered. Papawise spoke,"Hello young student, would you like to wash your troubles away with some ale?"

I sat down and took a few shots with papawise to calm my nerves.

"That one really clears out the gullet, don't it?"

Bozo, the principal unzipped his pants, and slung out his balloon animal, in a way of clown greeting, which was customary in clown culture.

Bozo smiled broadly. "What seems to be the problem, legal adult? I know it was rough on you to be held back 10 grades, but pennywise has been here for 400 years!"

The staff had a great chuckle, one I didn't join into.

"Speaking of which..." I whispered meekly, as a woman should.

"Uh oh, causing trouble again is he?" He tutted at me. "You know you should stay away from him. He's a purebred clown, he's out of your league!" Bozo slandered to me.

I started crying and exited the teacher's lounge, closing the door behind me. My eyes lingered on my clown gloves. How could they not see who I am inside?

They would never fully accept clowns, and they would never accept me.


End file.
